Painters

I am a painter, as are all who stand around me in this eternal room of pure white. Before each soul stands, upon an easel, a painting. After long walks through the endless rows and columns of focused and hurried painters, I have found that I am far different than most. Those paintings immediately around me tend to be like mine (yet still with a great degree of variance), but ours are by far the exception. Whereas my canvas is immense, stretching forth high above me and far to my sides, many are small and could easily be carried under one’s arm. Mine also differs from most in its progression… Sketched outlines are here and there, yet only a few parts have paint upon them. I began this piece only a short time ago – I nearly gave it up several times, thinking it too difficult and that I would do better with lesser attempts, but thankfully I did not, for it is beginning to express a great deal of beauty. I do not know what it will look like when finished, but I do know that my work is different than most of the rest. Before most souls stand small, nearly completed paintings, each one part of a long series. Mine is hardly begun. Yet, when I think on it, I realize that many painters, regardless of the size of their canvas, have had great intentions but, far too often, their finished products do not bear the glory previously imagined (I could tell by their hurried hands and smeared and splattered paint). I myself have finished several and that fact, at times, worries me, as only a couple of them have resembled those of most artists. Although, lately I have been trying to draw solely from those works around me, for their beauty and magnificence far exceed others I have seen. Oft times I will study the works of others and realize elements that need to be incorporated into my own work, and sometimes those flits of inspiration are not actually to be found in the colors and lines of others’ – it is at those times that it is as if a voice speaks to me, instructing me how to press on, where to draw my next line, which parts to erase or retry. It is an interesting work and I am eager to witness its progress and its eventual finale. Yet, as I write those words of hope that selfsame voice tells me that if I press on with this same piece, it will be a masterpiece that will not be completed until my days are done. What an interesting work this will be…

~Sean Spenser McQuay

We are all fools in love

Most people hate clichés... I must admit that I don't have any strong love for them myself but at the same time I must admit that they do ring true so very often.

Many of you might have heard the saying that is the title of this post. It is, in a sense, a cliché itself. But it rings so very true. We are complete idiots really. We spend our days and nights completely obsessing over someone and yet when we are with them we are unable to admit our true feelings and desires to the same even when it is apparent that they return at least our love. Another horrid thing that makes us fools in love is that we doubt the smallest things while all the while wishing with our entire beings that the thing we are doubting is true. Someone tells you that they love you. You cry for joy that it is finally out there and then you start to worry...what if they are just toying with you? What if now they are secretly laughing at you. They have done nothing but show kindness to you but all of the sudden you begin to worry that it is all a lie simply because you think it is too good to be true...People lie..you know this...people have lied to you before so why would this person be any different. Which is why any relationship that survives, survives because of communication. We just have to keep reassuring each other, working things out and being patient and forgiving because it is not just doubting the other person, it is doubting ourselves and our perceptions.

I find it so easy to tell when someone is hitting on someone else but I am completely oblivious when the person being flirted with is me. Either 1. I'm not looking for it and therefore can't see it or 2. I have wished it before so that when it happens I think I'm just reading into nothing, that it is just another day-dream....

Another foolish thing is our lack of ability to carry on a serious conversation. Most of the time, in my limited experience, this is a trait of either one or the other and not both. Some people just can't carry on a serious conversation for longer than two min. (see my rant on communication)

I guess that's all I'm going to say right now though...I'm too beat from work...